Engineering · Free AI Resume Roast
Software Engineer Resume
Brutally Roasted
Your GitHub has 14 projects. Your resume describes one of them, as 'developed a full-stack application.' That's not a sentence, that's a tombstone for your actual work.
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Common Mistakes on Software Engineer Resumes
The patterns that keep turning up, and why they cost you the call.
- 01
A skills section with 40 entries, including three flavors of JavaScript and 'Microsoft Word.' Nobody believes all of them, so nobody believes any of them.
- 02
Bullets that describe the stack instead of the system. 'React, Node, PostgreSQL, Docker' is an ingredients list, not a dish.
- 03
No sense of scale. A service handling 200 requests a day and one handling 20,000 a second are both 'backend services' on your resume.
- 04
Leaving out the unglamorous work: the database upgrade, the flaky-test cleanup, the outage you ran the postmortem for. That's often the best evidence of seniority on the page.
- 05
Team work written as solo heroics, or solo work buried under 'we.' The interviewer will ask which part was yours either way.
What Engineering Reviewers Check First
Generic resume advice averages every field together. This is what someone hiring for this one actually looks for.
Whether you built the thing or were nearby while it was built. 'Designed and shipped' and 'contributed to' get read very differently.
Scale of any kind: users, requests, data volume, team size. Engineering judgment only means something against a constraint.
A link that shows judgment, not just activity. One repo with tests and a README explaining a tradeoff does more than a dozen tutorial clones.
One Software Engineer Bullet, Rewritten
The advice above, applied to one typical line.
Before
Used Python and AWS to build backend services for the platform.
After
Rebuilt the order-processing service in Python on AWS, cutting p95 latency from 1.2s to 340ms for 40k daily requests.
Same job, same technologies. The second one can be checked, and it tells the reader what kind of problem you're trusted with.
The Bullet Surgeon does this to your own bullets, free. Or read how to quantify achievements if you’re stuck on where the numbers come from.
Next Steps
- Job Match →
Paste a software engineer posting and see which keywords you're missing.
- 6-Second Replay →
Watch a recruiter's first six seconds on your resume.
- Level Check →
See what seniority your software engineer resume actually reads as.
Sample Roast Lines for Software Engineers
The kind of lines the roast writes for this role. Yours will be about what’s actually on your resume.
“You list 'Agile' as a skill. Agile is not a skill, it's a meeting you have on Tuesdays.”
“Your bullet 'Used Python to solve complex problems' has less specificity than a fortune cookie.”
“Four years of experience and the only number on your resume is your zip code.”
How to Fix Your Software Engineer Resume
Specific moves that actually move the grade.
- ✓
Write each bullet as problem, change, result: what was slow or missing, what you built or rewrote, and what moved (latency, error rate, cloud cost, deploy frequency).
- ✓
Give the system a size: requests per second, rows, users, number of services, engineers on the team. Engineering judgment only reads against a constraint.
- ✓
Cut the skills list to what you'd take a live coding round in tomorrow, grouped as languages, frameworks and infrastructure.
- ✓
Link one thing worth opening: a repo with a real README and tests, a deployed app, or a design doc. Pin your best repo so it isn't buried under tutorial forks.
- ✓
Include one reliability or migration bullet, like 'moved 60 services off a deprecated auth library with no customer-facing incidents.' It says more about seniority than another feature launch.
Roast your software engineer resume now
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Roast My Software Engineer Resume For FreeSoftware Engineer Resume Questions
Should a software engineer resume be one page?
Early in your career, yes. With a lot of experience, two pages is normal and not held against you. What hurts is a second page made of a skills wall and coursework. If page two isn't carrying real projects, it isn't earning its place.
How many programming languages should I list?
List the ones you'd be comfortable being interviewed on without warning. Six to eight is plenty. A wall of thirty reads as either inexperience or padding, and it invites a question about the one you're weakest at.
Do I need a GitHub link if my best work is closed source?
You need some link. A technical blog post, a conference talk, a deployed side project, even a detailed writeup of an architecture decision. The point isn't public code, it's evidence that exists outside your own description of yourself.
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