Engineering · Free AI Resume Roast
Software Engineer Resume
Brutally Roasted
Your GitHub has 14 projects. Your resume describes one of them — as 'developed a full-stack application.' That's not a sentence, that's a tombstone for your actual work.
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Common Mistakes on Software Engineer Resumes
The recurring patterns recruiters see — and reject.
- 01
Listing 47 technologies in a 'Skills' wall instead of 6 you're actually good at.
- 02
Describing what a framework is instead of what you built with it.
- 03
No links to GitHub, portfolio, or deployed work. We can't see the thing.
- 04
'Worked on backend services' — scope unclear, impact invisible, team size unknown.
- 05
Claiming 10x productivity gains with no baseline, no metric, and no definition of 'productivity.'
What Engineering Reviewers Check First
Generic resume advice averages every field together. This is what someone hiring for this one actually looks for.
Whether you built the thing or were nearby while it was built. Ownership language is the fastest signal there is.
Scale of any kind: users, requests, data volume, team size. Engineering judgment only means something against a constraint.
A working link. Most technical reviewers open exactly one, and if there isn't one they infer there's nothing to show.
One Software Engineer Bullet, Rewritten
The advice above, applied to a real line.
Before
Used Python and AWS to build backend services for the platform.
After
Rebuilt the order-processing service in Python on AWS, cutting p95 latency from 1.2s to 340ms for 40k daily requests.
Same job, same technologies. The difference is that the second one can be verified, and it tells the reader what kind of problem you're trusted with.
The Bullet Surgeon does this to your own bullets, free. Or read how to quantify achievements if you’re stuck on where the numbers come from.
Sample Roast Lines for Software Engineers
Real roasts our AI writes for this role.
“You list 'Agile' as a skill. Agile is not a skill, it's a meeting you have on Tuesdays.”
“Your bullet 'Used Python to solve complex problems' has less specificity than a fortune cookie.”
“Four years of experience and the only number on your resume is your zip code.”
How to Fix Your Software Engineer Resume
Specific moves that actually move the grade.
- ✓
Replace 'technologies used' with 'problem solved, system scope, outcome.' Every bullet.
- ✓
Quantify request volume, latency reduction, incidents resolved, test coverage — something numeric.
- ✓
Trim your skills list to the 6-8 tools you'd defend in a whiteboard interview.
- ✓
Link to GitHub, a deployed app, or a technical writeup. Recruiters open one. Make it count.
- ✓
Show ownership: 'Designed and shipped X' beats 'Participated in the development of X.'
Roast your software engineer resume now
Upload your resume and get a grade, category breakdown, and roast lines tailored to your actual content in 30 seconds.
Roast My Software Engineer Resume For FreeSoftware Engineer Resume Questions
Should a software engineer resume be one page?
Under about eight years of experience, yes. Past that, two pages is normal and nobody penalises it. What gets penalised is a second page made of a skills wall and coursework. If the second page isn't carrying real projects, it isn't earning itself.
How many programming languages should I list?
List the ones you'd be comfortable being interviewed on without warning. Six to eight is plenty. A wall of thirty reads as either inexperience or padding, and it invites a question about the one you're weakest at.
Do I need a GitHub link if my best work is closed source?
You need some link. A technical blog post, a conference talk, a deployed side project, even a detailed writeup of an architecture decision. The point isn't public code, it's evidence that exists outside your own description of yourself.
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