Marketing · Free AI Resume Roast
Content Writer Resume
Brutally Roasted
You write for a living. Your resume is the worst piece of writing you've ever produced. That should haunt you.
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Common Mistakes on Content Writer Resumes
The recurring patterns recruiters see — and reject.
- 01
No portfolio link, or one that leads to a Google Drive folder from 2022.
- 02
Listing 'SEO' as a skill without keyword ranking or organic traffic movement.
- 03
Describing deliverables ('wrote blog posts') without publication, reach, or conversion.
- 04
No CMS proficiency specifics (WordPress, Contentful, Webflow, Ghost).
- 05
Missing voice range — B2B, consumer, technical, long-form, social — pick a lane or show breadth.
Sample Roast Lines for Content Writers
Real roasts our AI writes for this role.
“You 'crafted compelling copy.' Compelling to whom? Did anyone click?”
“Your bullet 'increased engagement' has fewer words than a haiku and even less impact.”
“'Strong writing skills' on a resume for a writer is the same confidence as 'has a mouth' on a dentist resume.”
How to Fix Your Content Writer Resume
Specific moves that actually move the grade.
- ✓
Portfolio link at the top. 5-10 pieces, most impactful first, with metrics where possible.
- ✓
Each bullet: what you wrote → where it published → what it did (traffic, leads, rankings).
- ✓
Name the SEO results: keyword rankings, organic traffic %, top-performing piece.
- ✓
Show range across formats: blog, email, landing page, social, script — one example each.
- ✓
List CMS, SEO tools (Ahrefs, Semrush, Clearscope), and AI tools you actually use in workflow.
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