Marketing · Free AI Resume Roast
Content Writer Resume
Brutally Roasted
You write for a living. Your resume is the worst piece of writing you've ever produced. That should haunt you.
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Common Mistakes on Content Writer Resumes
The recurring patterns recruiters see — and reject.
- 01
No portfolio link, or one that leads to a Google Drive folder from 2022.
- 02
Listing 'SEO' as a skill without keyword ranking or organic traffic movement.
- 03
Describing deliverables ('wrote blog posts') without publication, reach, or conversion.
- 04
No CMS proficiency specifics (WordPress, Contentful, Webflow, Ghost).
- 05
Missing voice range — B2B, consumer, technical, long-form, social — pick a lane or show breadth.
What Marketing Reviewers Check First
Generic resume advice averages every field together. This is what someone hiring for this one actually looks for.
Published work, linked and live. This is checked before the resume is finished being read.
Whether your writing did a job: traffic, ranking, conversion, pipeline.
Range of format and subject, which is what determines whether you can be handed unfamiliar work.
One Content Writer Bullet, Rewritten
The advice above, applied to a real line.
Before
Wrote blog posts and website copy for various clients and industries.
After
Wrote the SEO content programme for a B2B fintech, 60 posts over 18 months. Organic sessions went from 4k to 31k a month and the blog became the second-largest source of demo requests.
A writer's resume is a writing sample whether they intend it or not, and 'various clients and industries' is a bad one. The rewrite is specific about volume, subject and what the writing produced.
The Bullet Surgeon does this to your own bullets, free. Or read how to quantify achievements if you’re stuck on where the numbers come from.
Sample Roast Lines for Content Writers
Real roasts our AI writes for this role.
“You 'crafted compelling copy.' Compelling to whom? Did anyone click?”
“Your bullet 'increased engagement' has fewer words than a haiku and even less impact.”
“'Strong writing skills' on a resume for a writer is the same confidence as 'has a mouth' on a dentist resume.”
How to Fix Your Content Writer Resume
Specific moves that actually move the grade.
- ✓
Portfolio link at the top. 5-10 pieces, most impactful first, with metrics where possible.
- ✓
Each bullet: what you wrote → where it published → what it did (traffic, leads, rankings).
- ✓
Name the SEO results: keyword rankings, organic traffic %, top-performing piece.
- ✓
Show range across formats: blog, email, landing page, social, script — one example each.
- ✓
List CMS, SEO tools (Ahrefs, Semrush, Clearscope), and AI tools you actually use in workflow.
Roast your content writer resume now
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Roast My Content Writer Resume For FreeContent Writer Resume Questions
Do I need a portfolio site as a content writer?
You need links. A simple page of live pieces is fine and often better than an elaborate site. What matters is that a reviewer can read your work in one click, because most won't take two.
How do I handle ghostwritten work I can't claim?
Describe it without linking: 'ghostwrote executive thought leadership, 20+ pieces, two published in industry press.' Then make sure the pieces you can link are strong. Everyone hiring writers understands ghostwriting and nobody finds this odd.
Should I include SEO metrics if I'm applying for editorial roles?
Lightly. Editorial teams care that you can write and think, and a resume heavy with traffic numbers can read as a marketing profile. Lead with the work, keep one line of results for the roles where it matters.
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