This is a sample roast
A fictional resume we scored for you. Yours will look exactly like this.
Sample Resume Roast: Grade C-— “The Corporate Buzzword Sommelier”
Grade
“The Corporate Buzzword Sommelier”
“You 'leveraged cross-functional synergies to drive stakeholder alignment.' That's a full sentence that means you went to a meeting.”
“Eight bullets. Zero numbers. You 'improved processes' and 'increased efficiency' but we're just supposed to take your word for it.”
“Listing 'Microsoft Word' and 'email' as skills is the resume equivalent of bragging that you can tie your own shoes.”
“Clean layout. Readable font. But the 4-line objective statement at the top is a time machine to 2011.”
“This resume was clearly written for 'any job, anywhere.' Which is exactly why it's getting you zero callbacks.”
Top Roast Lines
“Your objective statement reads like a horoscope — vague, self-flattering, and relevant to nobody.”
“'Responsible for managing projects' is not an accomplishment. That's just a job description pasted at yourself.”
“You claim to be a 'self-starter' in the same document that took you 4 paragraphs to say you had an internship.”
“The 'References available upon request' closer is a classic. Mostly because it was last relevant in 2008.”
The Verdict
A resume that describes tasks instead of accomplishments, lists 'Microsoft Word' as a skill in 2026, and calls itself 'detail-oriented' without a single quantified achievement to back it up. You've done things — the resume just isn't telling us what.
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Roast My Resume For FreeHow to read a roast
The comedy is the delivery, not the product. Underneath every joke is a scored judgement about something a recruiter would genuinely hold against you — here’s what each part is telling you.
The letter grade is a percentile, not a mark
It answers one question: how does this resume fare against the other applicants in a real stack? Most resumes are unremarkable, so most land in the C range — that isn’t an insult, it’s the base rate. A C means competent and indistinguishable, which is precisely the problem worth fixing.
The category scores are where the work is
First Impression, Buzzword Abuse, Experience, Skills Section, and Formatting & Presentation are each scored out of ten. The grade tells you where you stand; the categories tell you which part to open first. A resume can be a C because one category is a disaster and the rest are fine — that’s an afternoon of work, not a rewrite.
The Buzzword Density Score
A separate 0–100 measure of corporate fluff per hundred words, so a longer resume isn’t punished for length alone. Below 30 is substance-heavy; 45–60 is where the median resume sits. It also names the specific offending phrases, which is more actionable than the number. The 27 worst offenders are written up separately.
What it is and isn't
It’s a consistent rubric applied by a model, not a hiring manager at the company you want. It can’t know the role is really about one skill buried in paragraph four of the posting. Treat the grade as a signal about how your resume reads to someone skimming — which is exactly the situation it’s modelling — and not a verdict on your career. More on how the scoring works on the about page.
Questions people ask
Is this a real roast?
Yes — a real output on a realistic resume, unedited. Letter grade, five category scores, the roast lines, the Buzzword Density Score, and the verdict, exactly as you'd receive them.
Will mine be this harsh?
It depends entirely on your resume. The grader is calibrated so most resumes land in the C range, which is where most real resumes genuinely sit. Strong resumes do get strong grades.
What do I get beyond the grade?
Category-by-category scores so you know which part is dragging, the specific phrases hurting you, and two interview questions a recruiter would likely ask based on what's on the page.